Oh NOOOOooo, Mr. Bill!!

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chips's picture
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chips's picture
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A Public service for Radnor's Dems:

Betrayal of Trust
How to let go and move on when someone you trusted burns you bad.

Whether or not trust can ever be restored depends on how badly it was damaged and how much the spurned person feels betrayed. If you’ve had your trust betrayed then you know how hard it can be to let go, move on and fix the relationship. More often than not the burned person just wants to cut their losses and end the relationship, and who could blame them? But if you do want to repair the damage, if you want to salvage the relationship and rebuild trust, there are some steps you need to follow. While the person who damaged the trust has their work cut out for them in earning it back the person who was hurt also has a job to do. So how do you move past a major burn and put things back on track? It’s hard but it can be done and these three pointers can help.

1.) Let your anger out.
In a quest to save a relationship people who have been hurt often bend over backwards to please their betrayer. Why? Because when we have been betrayed or burned the person who hurts us has sent a clear message that on some level we don’t matter to them as much as they matter to us. In a rebound state of fear of loss this often translates in to the hurt party trying to earn back the other person’s good opinion. It is a knee-jerk reaction and always ends in resentment. The best way to start the healing process is to acknowledge that there has been pain, betrayal and a loss of trust. Once the cards are on the table everybody will have a clearer picture of what they need to do to set things right.

2.) Resolve to let it out and then let it go.
Once you let your feelings out you need to let the incident go. This does not mean blind forgiveness, but there is an element of forgiveness involved in this step. If the person who hurt you apologizes and you accept then you need to never rehash the incident. Doing so will only bring back your anger and keep you in emotional limbo. Don’t bring it up as a weapon. Don’t hold it over the other person every time you feel wronged in the future. Acknowledge that it happened, make your feelings and expectations known, and then stop focusing on what damaged the trust and set your sights on rebuilding. You’re only human, you may slip up and throw the incident in the face of your betrayer and if you do don’t beat yourself up over it, apologize and move on. While this step may seem like letting the person who hurt you get off easy in reality you are making things easier on your self by allowing yourself to be hurt and moving past it.

3.) Know that things can never go back to the way they once were and keep your eyes wide open to future betrayals.
The sad reality is that once trust has been damaged it can’t simply go back to the way it once was, no matter how much both parties may want it to. People who do not value trust enough to respect it in the first place more often than not continue that pattern in the future. This doesn’t mean that it is a waste of time trying to rebuild trust it just means that the new trust has to be different. Call it a more mature trust. While trusting a person who has hurt you isn’t impossible it will never be the same kind of wide-eyed trust we give to people when we first let them in. This is not really a bad thing even though it may seem like a loss. Seeing people for who they really are rather than through rose-colored lenses can be a healthy thing. So when you decide to try to give trust a second chance just know that you will be more sensitive to the prospect of another betrayal and forgive yourself if doubt seeps in without real reason.

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chips's picture
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Woozaleedoodle's picture
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Wow!!!!

Amazing post, cartoon, and song, Chip! It will be interesting to see how John Fisher moves on after getting burned by Snakel and Elaine Paul Schaefer.

I think it might be even more interesting to see how Bill 'Mr. Bill' Spingler moves on - or if he will hold a terrible grudge against the Con-servancy board members!

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LexoTime5's picture
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Ehhh, the song is good but the OJ's appear to be lip-synching this performance.

Chip, impressive cartooning and self-help quote, but I don't know what this is referring to. A certain incident? This post is heavy on illustrations and padding but light on information.

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chattypatty's picture
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I think it was LMT Observer who said in a previous post that there should be annual SAC awards for the best Photoshop posts. Chips “Mr. Bill’s” post has my vote for best of 2010. It is priceless. Anyone dealing with this Snakel guy and Ms. Dufus Galore will definitely benefit from reading the “Betrayal of Trust” memo. Chips says it all. Even the usually vociferous Carla is speechless.

I loved the music video too. I bet the dethroned Fisher guy will be deleting the O’Jays’ “Backstabber” from the oldies folder of his iPod.

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carla's picture
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Even the usually vociferous Carla is speechless.

chattypatty,
I don't live on the blog, believe it or not. I did not get to see this until now and it's pretty freaking funny. Chip's photoshops are always a stitch Smiling

_____________________________________________________________
L'homme est né libre, et partout il est dans les fers/Man is born free, yet he is everywhere in chains.–Jean Jacques Rosseau. The Social Contract, 1762

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"Well behaved women rarely make history" - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Woozaleedoodle's picture
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I think it was LMT Observer who said in a previous post that there should be annual SAC awards for the best Photoshop posts. Chips “Mr. Bill’s” post has my vote for best of 2010. It is priceless. Anyone dealing with this Snakel guy and Ms. Dufus Galore will definitely benefit from reading the “Betrayal of Trust” memo.

AGREED, Chattypatty!

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LexoTime5's picture
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The year is young. I'm hoping to see another like last year's Rockwell painting. I just about spit my drink when I saw that one.

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Woozaleedoodle's picture
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The year is young. I'm hoping to see another like last year's Rockwell painting.

One cannot forget Chip's iconic re-imagining of the classic Norman Rockwell depiction of a town meeting. Except, in Chip's version, an angry, upside down colander-wearing John Nagle screeches obscenities at a speaker -

http://www.saveardmorecoalition.org/node/3520

However, I have to say that I think I like John Nagle depicted as a snake EVEN BETTER than a tinfoil hat-wearing lunatic!

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politeia's picture
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My favorite on the LM side is Greetings From "Happy" The Clown.

Just knowing the type of bozo, er, person Ken Davis is and how he must be fuming over this makes it all that more special.

=================

Brotherhood of Thieves

~ As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence.

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LMT Observer's picture
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chattypatty's post inspires this observer to suggest that SAC create a nickname award.

"Ms. Dufus Galore"! What a creatively entertaining and evocative alternative for "Hugga Wugga"--which also is a very creatively entertaining and evocative nickname.

(Can't help but note that "Hugga Wugga" reliably triggers a visual of a photo that seems to be becoming increasingly memorable as Radnor's Bashoregate unfolds with the newly elected Radnor Commissioners playing out their parts.)

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Woozaleedoodle's picture
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Good idea, LMT Observer!

One of my favorites for Elaine Paul Schaefer and John Nagle is "Lady Elaine and Sir Cuss-a-Lot".

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chattypatty's picture
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Yes. A nickname award is an excellent idea. And don’t forget those subtle gems known as “tags”. There should also be a SAC Hall of Fame for the exceptionally best in each category and Chips’ Rockwell Photoshop should be first entry.

And LMT Observer is right. These posts are infective and the good ones do indeed reliably trigger a visual. Every time I drive through Radnor on Darby Paoli Rd. and pass the Willows, I look over at the commemorative created by the Radnor Conservancy in homage to the Ardrossan Farm heirs and see the big public works leftover boulder surrounded by a grouping of scrawny trees that could be mistaken for a tree farm that supplies Charlie Brown with his annual Christmas tree, and shrubs that look like they have been sheared by a New Zealand sheep farmer, and chuckle as I think of the descriptive tags on SAC such as the “Deer Buffet” or equally clever “Butt Smooch Memorial”.

The downside is that I can never again look at my favorite Rockwell piece of art without instinctively looking at the background trying to find the one they call “Tinfoil Nagel” doing his best Sir Cuss-A-Lot routine yelling out from the crowd: “Asshole!”

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ChickenSandwich's picture
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And LMT Observer is right. These posts are infective and the good ones do indeed reliably trigger a visual. Every time I drive through Radnor on Darby Paoli Rd. and pass the Willows, I look over at the commemorative created by the Radnor Conservancy in homage to the Ardrossan Farm heirs and see the big public works leftover boulder surrounded by a grouping of scrawny trees that could be mistaken for a tree farm that supplies Charlie Brown with his annual Christmas tree, and shrubs that look like they have been sheared by a New Zealand sheep farmer, and chuckle as I think of the descriptive tags on SAC such as the “Deer Buffet” or equally clever “Butt Smooch Memorial”.

that is correct. many people have told me that they have similar reactions when they see the nagle/schaefer butt smooch memorial to the scott family.

of course, now snakel and doofus have the ability to provide the scott family with a twenty million dollar butt smooch, provided they can get two other commissioners to side with them!

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